It's the 2:00 a.m. Report

Here it is, 2:23 a.m. on Friday, May 14th, and I am wide awake.  Again.

On the way home from my abs class yesterday, I got a call that N was sick at school, so I shlepped over there to retrieve her.  By late afternoon her fever was pushing 103.

Just 20 minutes ago, she woke me up.  I'm not sure if she woke me up for herself or because G wanted me, but she has been a Chatty Kathy, yammering on about what she wants for breakfast ("an egg and a sandwich, please"), that's she is hot and wants to change into a nightgown, and, when I commented on how talkative she is, about a boy in her class who got in trouble yesterday for talking.

Her talk coupled with me having to get ibuprofen, check what time the clinic hours are at D's work for tomorrow, set my alarm clark to ensure we can get to the clinic in the early morning (hopefully), and rock G for a minute has left me......

Everyone all together now..... WIDE.FRACKIN.AWAKE.

There is only so much stimulation my brain can take before the ON switch is flipped up.  It will take a little while for it to slowly flip down again.

And I'm sure that is when M will awaken for his early morning nursing session.

Based on the size of her tonsils and pain in her waist (abdomen), I feel about 99% certain she has strep throat.  And it hasn't affected her ability to chat me up.

3rd time down this stinkin' road

At least this time around it only took 2 nights before I finally went, "Oh yeah!  I'm having insomnia because it has been almost 3 weeks since M started solid food."  Unfortunately, my system is very sensitive to changes in my prolactin levels....the breastfeeding hormone.  And when my prolactin declines, so does my ability to sleep.

I'm back to taking Unisom to help shut my brain off at bedtime.

And the insomnia is a bellwether for other unpleasant emotional changes, like increased anxiety and anger. All due to starting baby M on cereal.

It is amazing what my brain forgets.  Like all this unpleasantness associated with slow weaning.

It makes me feel like I'm going crazy again, makes me feel waves of the sadness, the worry, the guilt, the "it's never, ever, ever going to feel good" again.

So I'm trying to just deal.  Take my Unisom.  Blog it out.  Let it pass.
Since I've already seen these signposts before.  Twice.