Trump, hysteria and language/speech

I do not know whether there was actually any collusion with Russia or obstruction of justice in what Trump said to Comey.  I wouldn't say I'm particularly eager to find out because it would be a blow to the republic. In an already much-divided country, it would further divide people. There would be much gloating on one end of the political spectrum and much denying on the other.

What I continue to think about is how much speech and language matter.

Like in the alleged statement Trump made about Mike Flynn to Comey about Flynn being a good guy and letting this go.

Was Trump asking Comey to actually stop investigating Flynn or was he just talking in the Trump way without much consideration to what his words mean and how they are perceived by others?

I don't know, but it matters.

What I think is both fascinating and sad is how what Trump says would not be tolerated in any other professional capacity, and yet it is tolerated in the president.

If a student had done something seriously wrong, worthy of expulsion or criminal charges, and a principal told a teacher that the kid is a good guy and to just let it go, would people perceive this differently than they do what Trump says?  Could the principal get away with saying, "I was just talking in that way I talk; it can't be taken seriously?"

I don't know, but it matters.

If a doctor had done something seriously wrong, worthy of criminal charges, and a hospital administrator told the nurse who had been in the ER when it happened that the doc is a good guy and to just let it go, would people perceive this differently than they do what Trump says?

Speech matters, regardless of what you intend.

Being an outsider and offering a fresh viewpoint can be a very beneficial thing, and in most cases I think it is a good idea. But being an outsider without any skills of observation or pause or restraint is not a good idea.

Being honest does not mean conveying every thought that runs through your consciousness.  When I read the definition of honest, it actually means a lot of things. Free from deception, but sometimes we can be deceived by our own perceptions of the world. Honest means humble and plain, and I don't see much that is humble about 45. Honest means reputable and respectable, and I'm afraid those don't define the president either, at least in my book.

I have never, ever been a fan of people who run off at the mouth.
Even when I appear to run off at the mouth, I know full well what I am saying and the audience to whom I am saying it.

So as much as I despise Trump's running off at the mouth and the keypad on Twitter, I also am having a hard time with the hysteria of those who keep yelling "impeachment" without, perhaps, a clear understanding of what that requires. I recently heard part of Barbara Jordan's speech at the Nixon impeachment and a discussion about maladministration not being grounds for impeachment. As much as I personally think the Trump administration is a series of dumpster fires of its own making, I withhold judgment on illegal activities until I have definitive proof. There seems to be some running off at the mouth among those who abhor Trump as well.

I can take everyone a lot more seriously if they spend a little more time thinking through their thoughts than just blasting them into the public realm.

Potty language in da house!

I happen to be a fan of the occasional use of curse words to accentuate a point or inject some humor or lightness into a discussion.  However, the overuse of curse words makes a person sound like an idiot.  This is not a fine-line thing.  There is a vast chasm between witty use of foul language and what might be typified as redneck use.

My sons have discovered curse words, and I am happy to say that, despite my occasional use of such words (typically in a reaction to some boy thing they have done in an effort to destroy and/or defile the house), their interest in these words has stemmed from riding the school bus.

I have been asked about the word "fec" and have explained that "fec" means for a man to put his penis in a woman's vagina.  I have had to repeat this definition at least twice.  The boys are totally nonchalant about this, while N runs into the other room saying, "OH MY GOD, I'M NOT LISTENING!"

On Sunday, M said, "Mommy, I know what "ass" means.  It means your penis."

I replied with, "Do you want to know what ass means?" and he pointed at me and went, "Ahhhh" as if he hadn't just said "ass" a second before and that I was the one with a nasty potty mouth.

I explained that "ass" is his butt, his bottom, his bahoofie, and he excitedly yelled, "I was SO CLOSE!"

Yesterday, G got frustrated while playing with his Kindle, and I heard him say, "I really want to say the "S" word right now."

G occasionally watches youTube to see Minecraft videos.  Some are musical parodies (One More Fright which is a play on Maroon 5's One More Night) and are fine, but others show these teenage/young adults playing Minecraft.

G learned the terms "suck balls" and "faggot" from one such video.  He didn't ever use them; D overheard it and told me.  I discussed these words with G....ok, I discussed "faggot" because "suck balls" is rude but not something to which I would take offense.  There are many things about motherhood that, in my estimation, do feel sucky-ballish, but there is no reason to ever use the word "faggot."  When I explained that people use the word "faggot" to hurt other people's feelings, he immediately took a dislike to the word.

Maybe it is because I am an English teacher, but I feel very strongly that I want my kids to know the meanings of words and avoid making particular words "taboo."  If the kids have half of my issues, they will love anything that an authority figure urges them not to do or say, so I would be doing a disservice to myself to make a big stink over them asking about these words.

My calm, matter-of-fact approach seems to be working.  I mean, G could have actually said "shit," but he opted for the "S" word.

And....the truth is that my boys figuring out curse words is pretty darn hilarious.....even though I would never admit it to them.  

Let's add speech therapy.....

After contacting the district about M's speech in October, we finally got through the initial screen, the at-home interventions, the meeting to proceed with formal evaluation, the formal evaluation, and this week's meeting to discuss the formal evaluation.

I was fully anticipating him not qualifying for services, but he did.

Now I'm waiting to hear if there is a spot at the kid's school, where he will begin kindergarten in August.  If not, we will start speech therapy at a school within our cluster.  Once he starts kindergarten, he will be pulled out twice a week for sessions until next March when we see how he is doing.

In 11 years of parenting, I have done PT with N, ST and OT with G, and now ST with M.  It occurs to me that this, somehow, feels like a lot of therapy for a group of kids that is pretty darn "healthy."  Since I don't know the ins and outs of other families, I can't begin to know whether this is "normal," and I guess it really doesn't matter.

I guess maybe I shouldn't wonder and worry about the flawed genetic pool D and I have spawned and concentrate on the fact that we are aware and responsive parents who get their kids the help they need.

Maybe all of these therapies are just par for the course for a woman whose blog's purpose is as CBT.

Where do you want to go for lunch?

This seems like such a simple question.

One day last week, I asked G where he wanted to go for lunch.  Nana was over, and we had been running errands for much of the morning.  Initially, G had answered, "Burger King."  As I completed my errands, I asked, "So, you want to go to Burger King?"

G said, "No."

I asked, "So where do you want to go?"

G replied, "The place with the blue roof."

I think I just stared dumbly.  (Is dumbly even a word?  If it is not, it should be because that is how I stared.)

I repeated, "The place with the blue roof??"

G said, "Yes.  And the fish."

Me:  "What?"

G: "The place with the blue roof and the fish......and the light."

Me:  Staring dumbly again.

G: "You know, the place with the blue roof, and the fish and the light.  Near our house."

Now close to our house is a Moby Dick restaurant but G has never, ever eaten there.  Having no earthly idea what or where he was talking about, I just started driving and asked him to please point it out if he saw the restaurant.

We drove past the Moby Dick (which DOES have a blue roof and DOES have a picture of a whale on it which a 4-year-old might mistake for a fish and not a mammal), and I asked if that was the place.  He said, as if talking to a complete moron, "NO!  It's the place with the light. Near our house.  With the ducks."

WITH THE DUCKS!! OF COURSE!

By Zeus!  I had it!!  I knew exactly where he wanted to go for lunch.

Long John Silvers, which has a blue roof and a fish, and Taco Bell, which has a bell that G thought was a light.

This particular YUM restaurant is located near this:

One day after the kids had their bi-annual dental visit, I picked up lunch at Taco Bell since N was missing her lunch time at school, and drove the kids to a nearby corporate office which has a nice lake, waterfall, bridge, walking path and oodles and oodles of ducks.  We sat in the car with the doors open, enjoying the weather and watching the ducks peer into the minivan.

All of this---the YUM restaurant and corporate office with path, bridge and lake--are within 5 minutes of our house.

G knew what he was talking about the entire time.

G-isms

Midwest Mom inspired me to jot down some of the funny things my preschooler has said lately.

1. "I have a wicked big poop."  Said one evening when he soiled his drawers.  Thanks to Kevin Hawkes' book, The Wicked Big Toddlah, for giving G the inspiration to use such wonderful terminology for his feces.

2. "Mommy, I have a frog in my nose." Said one morning when he woke up especially stuffy (following a day when I was hoarse due to congestion).

3. "Mommy, I'm gonna stick this up your butt."  Said this morning when he was trying to stick a note in my jean pocket.

4. "My eye is leaky." Said this morning when trying to get early morning eye-goo off.

5. "Today is sunny.  It is also moony."  Said when he noticed both the sun and moon in the sky one afternoon.  

A month or so into speech therapy

Maybe it's my imagination, but G seems slightly easier to understand.  Could be the speech sessions or him just adding a month or so to his development or both.  I had to call the dentist, whom we just saw on Wednesday, about his palate, which is high and narrow according to the therapist.  I don't know if they will even do spacers for kids as young as he is, but if so, that could be in the near future.

I am going to try to make a real concerted effort to only allow him his pacifier at rest times since I know that affects the shape of his mouth.  With that being said, there will be some occasions when I just let him have it because I am not willing or able to tolerate another tantrum.  He is 3, after all.  By the time D gets home from work sometimes, G and I are having knock-down dragouts, or at least it feels that way to me.

And I'm going to start giving him "real" cups now instead of sippies.

I guess I've sorta forgotten this from back in the days when N was a newborn and I had to do PT on her for her torticollis, but one of the hardest things about parenting is doing health-related things for and to your kids that you know is best for them but either 1. hurts them, 2. pisses them off, or 3. makes your life at least 9 times harder than it already is.  Like one more thing to do on your list of never-ending things to do.

If I'm honest, there are some words I really don't want G to say properly because saying them wrong is just so very cute.  Like ameeyals for animals.  

Of course, if saying animals incorrectly was the biggest of his speech issues he wouldn't be in speech at all.