Sunday, September 8, 2013

Employed and eating crow

As yet, I can't say too many good things about the prospect of turning 40 next week, especially since I've had my first cancer removed and in a month go for a glaucoma workup.  Being a part of the slow decline of my physical self ain't too appealing.

The reward, though, is wisdom, and last week's re-entry into the world of teaching, although on a very part-time basis, has me understanding better that being a stay-at-home mom does have its benefits.

The day went fine, although I had a rough start.

There was the understandable anxiety I felt at the prospect of being in a classroom setting after nearly a decade of not doing any such thing.

But when G discovered that Nana would be hanging with M while he had to go off to the drudgery that is kindergarten, he started feeling a whole lot whiney and a little sickly.  He even started crying when it was time to get on the bus, something I've never had to contend with in any of my children when it has been time to send them off to new adventures.  My anxiety escalated because now I had the potential wrench of "What if he IS really sick?" and all the unknowns that this would involve.

This was followed by the miscommunication between me and Nana over what time she should arrive at my house.

It was at this point I called D and yelled, "I will NEVER go back to work full-time!"

Suffice it to say, there was an awful lot of adrenaline and cortisol running through my system before 10:00 am.

Everything ran smoothly for the remainder, but I was completely and totally wiped the hell out by 8:00 pm.

So yes, there is great drudgery in staying at home with children, spending all day wiping butts and being interrupted and listening to crying and seeing one's hygiene go by the wayside.

But I understand better that there is much a woman gives up in the effort to make money and utilize the parts of her brain that don't get a sufficient workout in the tending of their own children.  

1 comment:

Kelsey said...

I still need to do some thinking "out loud" on my own blog about why working full time was not for me - but there is a lot about this post that sums it up well. For me, the job was mostly terrific, but the home side of it was a nightmare!

Congratulations on having a good "work" part of your back to work day. I can't wait to hear more about it.