Tuesday, January 8, 2013

The meaning of this dream

I have had a recurring dream on and off for years, and a month or two ago I had a breakthrough which I didn't really see as a breakthrough until last night's dream.  

In the dream, I have a large backyard and at the back there is a pool that is in complete disarray.  It is covered by shrubbery, weeds and a tarp.  In the dream, I often feel fearful of dealing with it.  It is too much work, and I'm not certain I want a pool in the yard since I have young children.  But it has been there for as long as we've owned the house.

The breakthrough from this fall--
In the dream I cleaned up the mess and restored the pool, although my dream didn't actually show me doing was sorta just something I knew I did.  It is beautiful.  Clear blue water.  In the dream I can't see anything around it, just the water.  In this dream when the pool was finally usable, friends of mine from high school came over to swim.

Last night--
I dreamt that the water was murky and when I tried to swim underwater, I couldn't hold my breath.  The water felt heavy, dense.  I started filling the pool up with more water, which seemed to clear it up a bit but I knew there was more to it, that more work would be involved.

I like this dream because I know it is my mind's way of trying to figure out what I want to do with myself.  The pool, I think, is my professional life....the life that has been covered over and ignored by the demands of being a wife and a mother.  The forgotten part of me.  The aspect of my life that I haven't had the time or the energy or the strength to deal with.

I'm glad my unconscious mind is figuring things out for me because my conscious mind is having one hell of a time.

No comments: