Sunday, February 16, 2014

The good, the stupid, the things worth remembering

I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, and I will always be glad that I have been there for every "big" thing in all 3 of my kids' young lives.  Being a control-freak who doubts that anyone could do even 1/10th as good of job raising my kids as I have (warts & all) I am very thankful that I have been able to do it for.......gasp.....a decade.


I know that moms who work outside the home have a different kind of hard from me, but one of the biggest things that I think many stay-at-home moms miss from working outside the home is the professional respect they get for a job well done, which comes in the form of a paycheck or a bonus or a "You did great on that project!"

I know my children love me, but they can be complete dickheads towards me, which might be tolerable if I got a paycheck or professional credits or something that would balance out the "I feel like shit about myself" scale.

Which was part of the reason I am part-time teaching.  My students don't demand things of me.  They bring me Valentines and write me notes or send emails that say things like....
 I am amazed at how by taking your English class, how I have had more of a desire to start working on my novel(s) again. And by looking at books and talking about them and connections and all that wonderfulness, I've begun to notice it in my own work, and made more of an effort to create connections, even if i never expose it or give it more than a single mention. Your class has made writing more fun and exciting! thanks!

And I get emails from parents that say things like....
Thanks for all you do.  B is really enjoying this new book.  He doesn't want to put the book down, which is a huge joy for me to see.

This is also part of the reason I do the Girl Scout troop and the GEMS Club.  Ninety percent of it is for N, but that last 10% is because I get emails from teachers to tell me that a kid who attended the club said this in class:
"I have prior knowledge of this from GEMS club!" :)

And I had to wipe none of these kids' butts or get them a snack or listen to why I am such a jerk because I won't let them do whatever it is they want to do.

I blame most of my recent bouts of stupidity on these damned snow days, which have completely smashed any semblance of normalcy in my weeks.  When you are out of a routine, you tend to forget or overlook things.  In my case, the thing I overlooked was pretty darn important.

M's preschool Valentine Party was last Tuesday.  I coordinated the party and had emailed the other parents to remind them of what they said they would do or bring.  When I arrived at the party, I realized I had forgotten M's Valentines at home so I ran back to get them.

Later, after the party had started, I didn't see the food and I couldn't remember who was supposed to bring it.  I asked one of the moms if she remembered or if she knew where whomever was supposed to have brought it put it.  She checked her phone, laughed and then pointed at me.


I know some people might say this is a classic case of "doing too much," but I really do think it is that I had all 3 kids at home the day before the party.  When I would have normally cleaned up my desk, gone over all my "to dos" for the week and run to the store, I was instead trying to wrap my head around yet another snow day and all the noise and chaos that would instead be my Monday.


In the car the other day, G said, "Mommy, look at the snow sparkling!"  In all my years, I have never noticed snow sparkling in the sunshine.  It made me happy to see this, but more importantly it made me happy that my G helped me notice it.  It reminded me of all his good qualities, which have been sometimes difficult to see in the past few months.  

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