This morning, when D told me that there is no school today due to snow, he had this weird grin on his face, so I thought he was joking and said, "You're kidding."
He replied, with the grin still on his face, "No, I'm not."
That grin made me suspicious. He knows this has been a winter from hell, and I thought he was just fucking with me.
I said, "You are kidding?"
Crazy grin on his face---"No, I'm not kidding."
It occurred to me sometime later that the reason he had that look on his face is because he was thinking, I am going to get to witness my wife break with reality when I tell her this, and he was at once excited and fearful.
It is 10:45 am, and I have not broken with reality although I've got something akin to formication going on. My kids are fine, their IQs diminishing by the second as they play video games and watch endless homemade American Girl videos on youtube.
Jimmy crack corn, and I don't care.
The only good thing about no school today is that I don't have to feel guilty taking G out of school early for his rescheduled OT appointment (which are usually on Fridays but this Friday is supposed to be his Valentine Party, and I didn't want him to miss that). Not that I should feel guilty. It isn't like he has had anything remotely resembling consistency in his school days this winter, so why should I feel I'm disturbing his tranquil, routine weeks of learning?
So what have I done with my morning?
I've already prepared dinner, run the dishwasher, categorized finances on mint.com, done 3 loads of laundry, stripped a bed and bitched to both my mother and my next-door-neighbor about this god-forsaken weather. I'm going to break down soon and clean the master bath and iron clothes.
I have not watched tv or eaten bonbons, which someone I know suggested stay-at-home moms do, which is the reason we get so up in arms when snow days are called. I normally try to politely ignore insane people, but I had to set this person straight.
Everyone I know is half-baked over this winter:
*The stay-at-home moms who haven't been to the gym in months and have collectively gained a zillion pounds because they go when their children are in school, and their children are never in school.
*The working parents who have used up every single second of their vacation time to stay at home with their children on these snow days.
*The grandparents who are being called in the wee hours of the morning to watch the grandkids so the parents can try to get into work and have an hour of vacation left for a summer trip.
*The neighbors who have gone to the store for their "trapped with children in the house" neighbors to get yet another gallon of milk and loaf of bread.
*The old people who would love to stretch their legs by walking to the mailbox but can't because they are scared to death they will fall on the ice and break a hip.
*The store owners who have done zero business because all their regular customers are stuck in their homes with children.
*The government and school officials who have prices on their heads because 1. they can't get the roads cleaned up fast enough and 2. no matter what call they make on school closings it is the wrong one.
Blogging must temporarily cease.... the kids are calling.....
10 minutes later
Now that I've wiped a butt, cleaned snot off the wall, and listened to my sons fight about whether they play Skylander Giants or Kinect Party, I'm going to go scrub the bathroom. It is the only decompression technique I can find at the moment, and I forgot what I was going to blog about anyway.
He replied, with the grin still on his face, "No, I'm not."
That grin made me suspicious. He knows this has been a winter from hell, and I thought he was just fucking with me.
I said, "You are kidding?"
Crazy grin on his face---"No, I'm not kidding."
It occurred to me sometime later that the reason he had that look on his face is because he was thinking, I am going to get to witness my wife break with reality when I tell her this, and he was at once excited and fearful.
It is 10:45 am, and I have not broken with reality although I've got something akin to formication going on. My kids are fine, their IQs diminishing by the second as they play video games and watch endless homemade American Girl videos on youtube.
Jimmy crack corn, and I don't care.
The only good thing about no school today is that I don't have to feel guilty taking G out of school early for his rescheduled OT appointment (which are usually on Fridays but this Friday is supposed to be his Valentine Party, and I didn't want him to miss that). Not that I should feel guilty. It isn't like he has had anything remotely resembling consistency in his school days this winter, so why should I feel I'm disturbing his tranquil, routine weeks of learning?
So what have I done with my morning?
I've already prepared dinner, run the dishwasher, categorized finances on mint.com, done 3 loads of laundry, stripped a bed and bitched to both my mother and my next-door-neighbor about this god-forsaken weather. I'm going to break down soon and clean the master bath and iron clothes.
I have not watched tv or eaten bonbons, which someone I know suggested stay-at-home moms do, which is the reason we get so up in arms when snow days are called. I normally try to politely ignore insane people, but I had to set this person straight.
Everyone I know is half-baked over this winter:
*The stay-at-home moms who haven't been to the gym in months and have collectively gained a zillion pounds because they go when their children are in school, and their children are never in school.
*The working parents who have used up every single second of their vacation time to stay at home with their children on these snow days.
*The grandparents who are being called in the wee hours of the morning to watch the grandkids so the parents can try to get into work and have an hour of vacation left for a summer trip.
*The neighbors who have gone to the store for their "trapped with children in the house" neighbors to get yet another gallon of milk and loaf of bread.
*The old people who would love to stretch their legs by walking to the mailbox but can't because they are scared to death they will fall on the ice and break a hip.
*The store owners who have done zero business because all their regular customers are stuck in their homes with children.
*The government and school officials who have prices on their heads because 1. they can't get the roads cleaned up fast enough and 2. no matter what call they make on school closings it is the wrong one.
Blogging must temporarily cease.... the kids are calling.....
10 minutes later
Now that I've wiped a butt, cleaned snot off the wall, and listened to my sons fight about whether they play Skylander Giants or Kinect Party, I'm going to go scrub the bathroom. It is the only decompression technique I can find at the moment, and I forgot what I was going to blog about anyway.
No comments:
Post a Comment