Saturday, February 14, 2015

The mothering stage I'm in

M and I take a music class every Wednesday.  This past week during a moment of transition the conversation amongst the moms turned to the the things I've got on my plate right now--the cottage school teaching, the magazine freelancing, and the graduate school.  One of them said, "Oh my gosh, you're so busy."

It's funny, but there are moments when I don't feel particularly busy.  Right now, I don't have an article I'm working on, and I've planned all my lessons for the rest of the year, so if I have already completed my class work then I'm just sorta sitting around.

Sure, I could clean, but I don't believe in cleaning stuff that isn't downright filthy.

And I have a difficult time reading when the kids are around because I need quiet to concentrate on what I'm reading.  The last thing I experience in this house with the boys is quiet.

I'm waiting on D to redo the speaker wiring in the basement, so I'm unable to hang up any of my wall decor since we painted and had the new flooring installed.

I guess I could bake or cook, but I don't enjoy doing those things.  Those are chores more boring than cleaning the toilets.

In terms of the kids, we are at that stage where I have to be here, in the house, available when and if they need me, but they generally don't need me much.  That is why I am pretty ok with having the teaching job and the freelancing stuff and the graduate gives me something purposeful and interesting to do in the lags, which are frequent.

It is a weird place to be, a limbo of sorts, and though I am glad to be out of the decade of "mothering itty bitty kids stage" where I have to watch their every move, I am trying to wrap my head around my entry into this new stage of "available as needed," which will last another decade.

Well, really I guess this stage lasts the rest of my life.  To this day, my mom and dad are "available as needed" when I have a question or need them to watch the grandkids or listen to me vent.

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