Wednesday, February 5, 2014

The Wednesday that made me turn the corner on crazy

I have given up.  Uncle. (Mother Nature, do you hear me?  I said UNCLE!)

Monday was a snow day and not once did I bitch on Facebook.  Not one time.  I made the kids hot cocoa and filled squeezable bottles with water & food coloring so they could paint the snow.  I shoveled snow over them up to their necks (at their request).

I can roll with the punches for one day, right???  RIGHT????

Yesterday, however, was an early dismissal due to a pending ice storm, which interfered with my plan to get M to nap since N and G were coming home at the time I would be settling M down for rest.

D came home from work early because of the storm so I felt like I couldn't do any of my normal stuff I might do (like go through all my consignment stuff that is sitting in the office) because he was working in there so I attempted to do our taxes while the kids were awake. That was dumb; I wasn't thinking straight.

N and I were supposed to have our first piano lesson with our new instructor but that was canceled due to the ice storm.

Today was another snow day, and I have zero energy or inclination to be motivated or happy or tolerant or anything.  I think I'm shoulder deep in the proverbial funk.

Who knows if the kids will go to school tomorrow?   I think I've lost my ability to care.

I drove up to the video store today and let them get movies and a game so they can sit in front of the screens and let their brains rot.  I've even discontinued the timer on the video games and computers because I really don't care to keep track of how much time they are spending on them.

I don't want to Pinterest or make Valentines or do anything of the sort.  I did all that this weekend when I made 100th day of school (which we may never actually get to experience because of this dumb ass weather) shirts with G and M (who wanted one too).  I helped G make a Valentine's Day container for his class party.  I went over N's written assessment sheets with her.  I was "the mom" this weekend.

I don't feel like being "the mom" now.  I feel like crawling under a blanket and hibernating until all this winter shit is over, until we have some semblance of order reestablished.  I feel like throwing a toddler-size tantrum on the floor, howling at the moon.

This truly is the winter of my discontent.

(I just noticed I don't have a tag for "winter."  It sucks THAT much.)

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