Sunday, February 23, 2014

Diez, Tiu, Dieci, Dix, Theka

Dear N,

Your 10th birthday is such a milestone.

For you, it is a season of newness.  Your body and mind are on the cusp of such great change as your hormones kick in and you prepare in another year to enter middle school.  You have grown so much in these ten years, and in another ten you will be, for all intents and purposes, a full-grown adult.

For me, it is a time of reflection, a looking back over a decade of mothering you.  As much as you have changed, so have I.

I am not the mother I was to you when you were an infant and young child.  In some ways, you had the best of me, a "me" your brothers have never and will never see.  More enthusiastic, more able to dedicate individual time, less tired, certainly more organized.

But you also experienced "uptight" worried that every little thing I did or didn't do would harm you.  I so didn't understand then how much of you was already "you" the instant you were born.  I didn't understand then that just being around, just being available to you when and if you want me, is so much more than being "in your face" and having quality time....whatever that means.

What a "you" you have grown to be.

I know you mostly see me being "nagging" mom or "grumpy" mom or "makes me do my homework" mom.  I don't usually let you know when I am being "studying your long thin fingers" mom or "liking that all you talk about is American Girl dolls because it means you are still a little girl even though I get tired of hearing about American Girls" mom.

I don't usually tell you how proud I am of you that you are one of the girls selected to work with the special needs students at your school because of your compassion and maturity.  I forget to tell you how glad I am to see that you have much more confidence in math than you did a year ago even though it will likely always be your "harder" school subject.   I have to remind myself to tell you how much I like it that you are so comfortable in your skin, wearing funky glasses without the glass in them just because you like how they look even though you don't need them for vision. I don't want to give you a big head or be a braggart, but I am so proud of you qualifying as the only 4th grader for written assessment.

Being your mom is such a huge privilege, and I am thankful every single day that I was blessed with you for my daughter.

Enjoy your 10th birthday events and activities!


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