Sunday, October 28, 2012

15 years of marriage

This week D and I will celebrate 15 years of marriage.  As I was looking through old photos of us from the early days of our relationship and marriage, I felt a little uncomfortable, as if I were peering into the lives of people I don't know.  It is difficult for me to remember the people we were back then.
On a cruise in 1996, when we became engaged. (Island of Dominica)

The people in the photographs were very, very young.  Of course, we weren't (or at least D wasn't---he was nearly 29 when we married).

Our wedding in 1997.

Our honeymoon. (Grand Cayman Island)

We lived in our first house for 4 years, which seemed like an eternity at the time.  I can still remember that it didn't feel like "home" for a long time.  We've been in our current house 11 years, and the time has flown by.  Perhaps this is simply the busyness of having children and years of accumulated sleep loss.  This house felt like home a lot faster than our first one, but we had been married awhile by the time we bought it.

In the early years of our marriage, we traveled a some really cool places.  Italy, Greece, Iceland, Canada, Assateague in Maryland, Savannah, GA.  I'm really glad we had a number of years (6+) together as a married couple before we added kids into the mix.

Grand Canyon in 1998.

 Burano, Italy in 2001.

Greece in 2001.

 Niagara Falls in 2002.
Toronto in 2002.

We've been though job changes, master's degrees, the death of a parent, a nervous breakdown, surgeries, car and home purchases, 3 children, many illnesses.  I guess when I look at some of those photographs from the early years, I see two people who were untested, who didn't have 15 years of compromise and frustration and gratitude and simply knowing each other.

Kid #1---N in 2004.  Married 6 years.
Kid #2--G in 2008.  Married 10 years

Kid #3---M in 2009.  Married 12 years.

When D and I hit 10 years, it felt sorta like a big deal.  Double-digits.
Now, at 15 years, I feel like we're in a middle ground between big deal and, "Holy Shit!  We are getting close to 20 years, and then I'll be close to being married for!"
And that feels weird.
Good, for sure, but also weird.

I'm proud of the life D and I have made together, the ways we've been able to compromise, forgive, forget, ignore.

Those young kids in the photos didn't know half this stuff.

Wisdom is a sweet reward. 

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