Here is what it is like to be a girl.
Select a dress for a dance. It has to be finger-tip length (meaning when you hold your arms down, it has to be as long as your fingertips on your leg or longer). Said dress meets this qualification.
Since your mother is cheap, and this dress costs more than she'd like, she says you have to wear the dress to both the dance AND your graduation. Mother is striving to not raise an entitled child.
Even the Duchess of Cambridge wears her stuff twice.
Wear the dress to your middle school dance. No administrator or teacher says anything about it being too short or too tight.
After buying this dress, you get notice that the graduation dress requirement is 2 inches above the knee. You don't pay any attention to this because it is March.
There is snow on the ground. Who the hell is thinking about May?
Fast-forward to May. You get another reminder that dresses have to be 2 inches above the knee. Girls start panicking. Is my dress ok? Is my dress too short? Will they let me walk if I show up in whatever I've already spent money on and WORE ALREADY TO A BLANGED SCHOOL DANCE AT WHICH NO ONE SAID ANYTHING???
Anxiety is so pervasive it jumps to mother. Mother emails counselor explaining that this dress was bought in February, and we aren't the Kardashians and don't buy a new outfit for every occasion. Also, seeking clarification on how to successfully SHORTEN DAUGHTER'S LEGS????
Two inches above the knee means entirely different things depending on whose legs you are talking about. And is it 2 inches from the top, middle, or bottom of the knee area?
Review the dress code that also includes.....
No prom dresses.
No jeans.
No backless.
No thin straps.
A sweater over bare shoulders.
Daughter goes shopping with friends while waiting to hear back from counselor as to the acceptability of dress. Plan is to purchase a top to go with an already-owned black skirt in case counselor insists on this insanity.
Mom and daughter have conversations like this via text:
Daughter: Would this work or is it too low cut?
Mom: That's cute. Heck, I don't know what is acceptable. I think the cut is fine. Are the shoulders ok?
Daughter: (Sends this picture. Apparently, we measure things at the school with 2 inches and 3 fingers.)
This is the kind of shit that girls do. Measure their legs. Measure their dresses and shorts. Measure the width of their tops. Make sure their bodies aren't too bare, too sexy, too whatever it is that bothers society so much.
To her mother, she looks like a 14-year-old in a peach-colored age-appropriate dress that is among ALL THE OTHER DRESSES IN THE STORES.
As my neighbor said, "1926 called. They want their dress code back."
ISO: A burqa to wear to this graduation to protest just how ridiculous these dress codes are to the entire half of the 8th-grade population known as FEMALES.
Select a dress for a dance. It has to be finger-tip length (meaning when you hold your arms down, it has to be as long as your fingertips on your leg or longer). Said dress meets this qualification.
Since your mother is cheap, and this dress costs more than she'd like, she says you have to wear the dress to both the dance AND your graduation. Mother is striving to not raise an entitled child.
Even the Duchess of Cambridge wears her stuff twice.
Wear the dress to your middle school dance. No administrator or teacher says anything about it being too short or too tight.
After buying this dress, you get notice that the graduation dress requirement is 2 inches above the knee. You don't pay any attention to this because it is March.
There is snow on the ground. Who the hell is thinking about May?
Fast-forward to May. You get another reminder that dresses have to be 2 inches above the knee. Girls start panicking. Is my dress ok? Is my dress too short? Will they let me walk if I show up in whatever I've already spent money on and WORE ALREADY TO A BLANGED SCHOOL DANCE AT WHICH NO ONE SAID ANYTHING???
Anxiety is so pervasive it jumps to mother. Mother emails counselor explaining that this dress was bought in February, and we aren't the Kardashians and don't buy a new outfit for every occasion. Also, seeking clarification on how to successfully SHORTEN DAUGHTER'S LEGS????
Two inches above the knee means entirely different things depending on whose legs you are talking about. And is it 2 inches from the top, middle, or bottom of the knee area?
Review the dress code that also includes.....
No prom dresses.
No jeans.
No backless.
No thin straps.
A sweater over bare shoulders.
Daughter goes shopping with friends while waiting to hear back from counselor as to the acceptability of dress. Plan is to purchase a top to go with an already-owned black skirt in case counselor insists on this insanity.
Mom and daughter have conversations like this via text:
Daughter: Would this work or is it too low cut?
Mom: That's cute. Heck, I don't know what is acceptable. I think the cut is fine. Are the shoulders ok?
Daughter: (Sends this picture. Apparently, we measure things at the school with 2 inches and 3 fingers.)
This is the kind of shit that girls do. Measure their legs. Measure their dresses and shorts. Measure the width of their tops. Make sure their bodies aren't too bare, too sexy, too whatever it is that bothers society so much.
To her mother, she looks like a 14-year-old in a peach-colored age-appropriate dress that is among ALL THE OTHER DRESSES IN THE STORES.
As my neighbor said, "1926 called. They want their dress code back."
ISO: A burqa to wear to this graduation to protest just how ridiculous these dress codes are to the entire half of the 8th-grade population known as FEMALES.
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