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Sunday, May 27, 2018

"Appropriate" dress, dress codes, and what really matters

I am not anti-dress code, but I also don't like people telling me what to do or how to think or what to believe.

I've got a libertarian streak in me that I generally keep under the radar.

As much as I want to adhere to rules and be a good little citizen, I also firmly believe that some rules have unintended consequences that teach lessons far worse than whatever the rule was supposed to teach.

After my "dress codes suck" post yesterday, a friend remarked that her son had worn camouflage pants to school, in a pattern that was so subtle my friend hadn't even noticed there was a camo pattern. He had to wait in the office until his mom could come to school and was told he could not make up whatever he'd missed during that time in the office. But he COULD go home from school "sick" and make up what he had missed.

So in upholding the dress code, the administrators inadvertently provided an incentive for the parent and child to lie in order to make up the missed work. Smart thinking administrators and way to send a message.

(By the way, I don't blame my friend for pulling him out "sick" at all. The student should have been allowed to go back to class until his mom was able to come, especially since his butt, nipples, abs, shoulders, or whatever other body parts are taboo weren't showing.)

Another friend posted about how her daughter had been allowed to stay at school until an hour before the end of the school day, and then one teacher "dress-coded" her. One.hour.before.school.ended. Every other teacher either didn't notice what she wore or didn't think it was a problem until 6th period Stan.

This is why dress codes are frequently obnoxious. The stickler and the laid-back teachers and administrators are at odds. I would be a terrible person to work in a dress-code-stringent school because my feeling is that the MOST important thing is that a kid is in my class learning. I don't care if they have a spaghetti strap or a camo pattern or if they are wearing a belt provided their pants stay up without one.

Be working hard, be learning. Otherwise, I don't care.

Today, I took my children to church, and I wore shorts, as did my children. All of our butts were covered.

I spent my entire childhood 1. being made to go to church when I didn't want to go and 2. having to wear clothes to church that my parents deemed appropriate. Jeans were NOT appropriate. I could wear shorts only one day of the year, which was the day of the church picnic. That was also the only day each year when I enjoyed going to church.

Suffice it to say, I have a long personal history of wanting to say "eff you" to the rules established by authority as they concern my clothing.

(What is MOST maddening is that now my PARENTS WEAR JEANS TO CHURCH because my mother thinks it is stupid to get dressed up for an hour to come home and change back into the clothes she just had on an hour ago. This suggests I have always had the "f*ck this sh*t" attitude of an 80-year-old woman.)

Here is what my son wore to church today:


There are all kinds of things "wrong" with him, in terms of dress codes. He has long hair. He doesn't match. He is wearing shorts. He wore flip-flops. Some would say he is COMPLETELY disrespectful to the church and to God.

I wish he would cut his hair shorter, and I wish he would dress a little nicer, but I also don't think hair or clothing, especially if butt, nipples, abdominals are covered and there are no cuss words on his clothing, are worth fighting over.

During prayer concerns today, this kid raised his hand to ask the congregation to pray for a little first-grade boy at his school who has a form of brain cancer and will likely not survive a year.

This little "non-dress-code appropriate" kid was being more Jesus-like than perhaps a lot of the people there who were dressed "appropriately." He was thinking about someone suffering, someone who needs prayers, and he had the gumption to raise his hand and speak in front of everyone.

The lesson I take from this, that I believe with every fiber of my being, is that clothes don't matter. My kid, dress code-wise, is a disaster, but as a decent human being, he is doing a pretty freaking great job.

Also, for all intents and purposes, Jesus wore flip-flops. 

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