Saturday, September 24, 2016

9 is so fine / You're the reason I drink wine

Dear G,

The other day I posted a photo of myself on Facebook, and I had many people tell me, including Daddy, that you look exactly like me.

I know for certain that you are much, much cuter than I ever was.

I also know that you and I are so alike emotionally.  We are both high-strung and easily aggravated.  Daddy sometimes can't stand listening to the two of us carry on with each other.  We know each other's buttons and push them regularly (hence the "you're the reason I drink wine" in the title of this blog post).

You have a special place in my heart because of your struggles---the OCD and the sensory issues and the coordination stuff.  I don't have a favorite child, but there are pockets of special love for each of my children because of their unique needs and challenges.

I love it that you have both a boy and a girl who are your best friends and whom you've invited for a sleepover for this 9th birthday.  You are an oddball, and your friends are oddballs, and I love it that you so easily recognize "your people."

You ramble on about Five Nights at Freddy's and other video game things I do not understand, and it sometimes makes me worry.  Your interest in all things macabre is a little unsettling for a mother who would sometimes like you to just like Mickey Mouse forever.  But whenever I talk about these things with you, you always say things that show me you get the deeper meaning.  Your empathy allows you to see that people are complex, that even the people we deem villainous are not wholly bad.  You are so aware that there can be sadness and loneliness and regret that lies behind their wrongdoings.  For someone who is just turning 9, I am often stunned by how mature your understanding of human nature is.

One of the reasons I love you.....your adoration of animals.  

I was so proud of you this past summer for going to Girl Scout camp with your sister so I could volunteer and just having the best, best time.  For fishing and swimming and making friends and being so much braver than I expected you to be.  And then up in Michigan, when you kayaked by yourself.  I often worry so much about you that I don't give you enough credit for being daring and bold.

I am so glad that you are my son, and that you have, even from before you were born, forged your own unique path (you remind me that you were born the "hard" way).  Your path, and my path as your mom, is not without obstacles.  But I like this saying by Frank A. Clark:  "If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere."

I am grateful for be on a path with you that is going somewhere that is almost certainly wonderful and also a little weird.

All my love you big 9-year-old boy,


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