Friday, July 1, 2016

When you forget you have a mental health issue.....and then you remember

This week has felt hard.

Normal monthly hormones combined with a sick child combined with two housebound boys who are not sick and could REALLY use a day at the pool to wear themselves out.

But then add in interviewing three women about their depression for an article I'm writing.

Toss in the uncertainty of heading out for vacation really soon and wondering expecting the boys and D and myself to get sick all during the trip and making it the world's worst vacation ever.  Plus, giving whatever crud N has to my parents and my MIL and my brother's family since they'll be with us.

My motivation has been zero, and I am normally a pretty motivated person.

I have gotten to a point where I often forget I have a mood disorder, and that is a very good thing.

As good as that is, it can feel devastating when circumstances make me remember.  When there is a perfect storm of life that makes me feel emotionally unstable.

At these times, it feels like I'm weak.....because I suspect that these "minor" issues wouldn't suck the floor out from under other people.

As someone I interviewed said, "Having depression just makes you feel more........."

And that is the perfect explanation of many mood disorders, including anxiety.

The events/situations that wouldn't phase someone without a mood disorder knock someone with a mood disorder under the waves.  They are left to flail in the waters and try to restore their feet underneath them, while also dealing with the panic and the worry of, "Oh my god, I think I'm drowning!"

I've seen this video, and it is a funny (and true) way to explain mood disorders.

The only thing I'd change is that a person with a mood disorder doesn't snap back into normalcy quickly.  A person with a mood disorder is on a gurney, exhausted for days by the fear and despair and panic and the overwhelming emotional exhaust, as well as the embarrassment of allowing 12 inches of water to throw them into the emotional abyss.

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