My most recent mind battle about body image occurred when my SIL showed me the new Piyo disk she is using as a workout.
I visited the website and was simultaneously envious of this gal's body and concerned that she is too thin.
I won't ever have a body like for her a number of reasons.
1. I don't get paid to exercise.
If it was my job, I would do it a heck of a lot more than I do. When I see celebrities, I have to remember that part of the millions they make is based on how they look. If I had millions riding on it, I would have a personal trainer at my house every morning, too.
2. I don't particularly love to exercise.
I do love to write and teach literature so I put my effort into things I love doing.
3. I refuse to cut out entire categories of food and become a slave to food either in gluttony or denial.
Having had to restrict my diet in the past, I won't do it again unless medically necessary.
4. The stand (I just came up with this the other day....hence my newest reason title above)
I can't stand the way she does above, jutting my hip and chest out and looking beneath my long gorgeous hair with bedroom eyes. If I had a body like that, would I have to then stand in that come-hither fashion? Even if my body looked that good, I have my head on top of my neck, and my head wouldn't fit such a body. The short hair....the nerd glasses.
My head would also refuse to try to act sexy. Some people can pull it off. I cannot, nor do I have any desire to try. I have trust issues with people who feel compelled to pose sexily.
I'd be lying if I said I love how being in my 40s is affecting my body. It's clear by this post that at 40+, I do not have a handle on my body image.
I realize that I look fine. I am, by all definitions, slender. I am in no way complaining about how I look.
I am, however, struggling with how I look. I'm the one that has to look at myself coming out of the shower every day.
To me, I look like I'm constantly 16 weeks pregnant from my first pregnancy (anyone with more than 1 child knows how the uterus springs back into pregnancy stretched-out-ness 10 seconds after conception for all other gestations).
I'm not thrilled with what happened to my upper body following 5+ years of breastfeeding.
I am seeing the slow signs of aging--the sagging, the crinkling--making their first forays onto my physical self.
What should be most important is that I am fairly healthy. My cholesterol is 129. My BMI is 23. My blood pressure's last read was 100/60. The only reason I should exercise is for my health, but I admit there is a secret hope that doing what little exercise I do will miraculously result in ripped abdominals.
I know it is redonkulous that it bothers me that I can no longer fit into my wedding dress. Although I wear a size 8 now, and my wedding dress is a size 8, it won't zip up the back. I like to think that perhaps things have just "shifted" over 17 years. Of course, I seem to remember weighing around 127 lbs when I married, and now I fluctuate between 138 and 142. I like to think that this additional 11-15 lbs is muscle mass (since I only started working out at the gym 5 years ago), but that is redonkulous, too.
When it comes to body image, there are all sorts of things I tell myself, some true and some complete balls of crap. Sometimes it is hard to differentiate between them.
It saddens me that after working through so many teen angst issues, I am still struggling with how I look. I'm hoping that at 50 or 60 or some more wise age in the future, I will permanently let this issue go.
I visited the website and was simultaneously envious of this gal's body and concerned that she is too thin.
I won't ever have a body like for her a number of reasons.
1. I don't get paid to exercise.
If it was my job, I would do it a heck of a lot more than I do. When I see celebrities, I have to remember that part of the millions they make is based on how they look. If I had millions riding on it, I would have a personal trainer at my house every morning, too.
2. I don't particularly love to exercise.
I do love to write and teach literature so I put my effort into things I love doing.
3. I refuse to cut out entire categories of food and become a slave to food either in gluttony or denial.
Having had to restrict my diet in the past, I won't do it again unless medically necessary.
4. The stand (I just came up with this the other day....hence my newest reason title above)
I can't stand the way she does above, jutting my hip and chest out and looking beneath my long gorgeous hair with bedroom eyes. If I had a body like that, would I have to then stand in that come-hither fashion? Even if my body looked that good, I have my head on top of my neck, and my head wouldn't fit such a body. The short hair....the nerd glasses.
My head would also refuse to try to act sexy. Some people can pull it off. I cannot, nor do I have any desire to try. I have trust issues with people who feel compelled to pose sexily.
I'd be lying if I said I love how being in my 40s is affecting my body. It's clear by this post that at 40+, I do not have a handle on my body image.
I realize that I look fine. I am, by all definitions, slender. I am in no way complaining about how I look.
I am, however, struggling with how I look. I'm the one that has to look at myself coming out of the shower every day.
To me, I look like I'm constantly 16 weeks pregnant from my first pregnancy (anyone with more than 1 child knows how the uterus springs back into pregnancy stretched-out-ness 10 seconds after conception for all other gestations).
I'm not thrilled with what happened to my upper body following 5+ years of breastfeeding.
I am seeing the slow signs of aging--the sagging, the crinkling--making their first forays onto my physical self.
What should be most important is that I am fairly healthy. My cholesterol is 129. My BMI is 23. My blood pressure's last read was 100/60. The only reason I should exercise is for my health, but I admit there is a secret hope that doing what little exercise I do will miraculously result in ripped abdominals.
I know it is redonkulous that it bothers me that I can no longer fit into my wedding dress. Although I wear a size 8 now, and my wedding dress is a size 8, it won't zip up the back. I like to think that perhaps things have just "shifted" over 17 years. Of course, I seem to remember weighing around 127 lbs when I married, and now I fluctuate between 138 and 142. I like to think that this additional 11-15 lbs is muscle mass (since I only started working out at the gym 5 years ago), but that is redonkulous, too.
When it comes to body image, there are all sorts of things I tell myself, some true and some complete balls of crap. Sometimes it is hard to differentiate between them.
It saddens me that after working through so many teen angst issues, I am still struggling with how I look. I'm hoping that at 50 or 60 or some more wise age in the future, I will permanently let this issue go.
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