Thursday, August 15, 2013

Why I like keeping it real

Lately there has been a post floating around FB that I dislike immensely.

I'm not sure why I dislike it.  It is well-written and the general gist of the essay (to slow life down a bit and not be so over-scheduled and/or distracted) is one we can probably all stand to hear once in a while (especially those mamas who have their iPhones glued to their lashes instead of watching their kids at the playground.  I'm talking to you, lady).  

Maybe it is the title which I've also seen as, "The Two Words I'll Never Say to My Daughter Again."  I can't help but think, "Really???  You will NEVER.EVER say 'hurry up' to your child ever again?"

What I dislike is sentimentality, and there is something a little too sentimental about this post.  (Or maybe it is too late in the summer and too close to my period?)
Like this:
"Suddenly a look of worry came across her face. 'Do I have to rush, Mama?' I could have cried. Perhaps the scars of a hurried life don't ever completely disappear, I thought sadly."

I guess I read this and see her going from one extreme to another, from crazy, distracted busy to lolly-gaggin' around, letting her kid look at toadstools all day.  
Kids have zero concept of time, and the past months of trying to get my kids out the door to do fun things that they will enjoy reminds me of this fact.  I've never tried herding cats, but I suspect it is easier.
Children need to understand that the world does not wait for them.  Sure, there should be times when kids are allowed to lolly-gag, to notice and putz and do those things that kids do naturally well.  But most of the time, I think kids need to understand that if they 1. want to do fun things and 2. say they will meet someone, they need to be on time (or as close to on time as possible).  They need to understand that there are penalties for being late (the movie starts, the friends leave, the doctor charges a fee).
Sometimes I think we get a little too wrapped up in making everything all doey-eyed, goopy sentimental, isn't childhood just soooo wonderful and shouldn't we treasure every.single.moment?
I like posts like this.  The ones that acknowledge what a damn hard row this motherhood thing is.  The ones that understand that probably 90% is survival and bumbling through.  The ones that seem to understand that it's only a recent blip in the history of man where we are so worried about our children that we turn our lives upside down to make them happy and carefree.  
I like the posts that make me feel like I'm doing ok (and that letting my boys play video games while I type this blog is not going to ruin their lives).  
Not the ones that make me feel like I could always and forever be doing it better.  

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