Sunday, February 10, 2013

OCD, weight gain/loss, sensory issues, cheapness and general fashion stupidity

Over the past 9 years my weight has fluctuated due to pregnancies, breastfeeding, my nervous breakdown, and strength training.

Before my first pregnancy I was around 130 lb.  I gained 18 lbs by my 28th week and then lost 7 due to gestational diabetes diet, which meant I ended my 1st pregnancy at 141 lbs.  Three days after delivery I was 120 lb.  Nine months later, due to OCD fallout, I was 112 lbs.  Anyone who thinks skinny is good-looking needs his/her head adjusted.  Medication and therapy helped me get back to around the 130 mark.

In each of the next two pregnancies I gained about 30-35 lbs and then lost a lot while nursing.  I don't weigh myself anymore unless my trainer takes my stats, but I think I am around 143-145 lbs, with about 25% body fat.  This seems to be a good weight for me.

In addition to the weight changes, there is also the natural shifting of things due to childbirth and aging.

All of this is a very long-winded way of saying, "My pants don't fit."
Which means I need to buy new ones.

My current jeans were purchased at Plato's Closet when M was an infant (and exclusively nursing).  Now that my weight has stabilized and I'm approaching 40, I'm thinking I'd do well to stay away from things that teenagers wear.

Being a stay-at-home mom has made it difficult to justify buying nicer clothing, but I've come to a point where I am tired of wearing ill-fitting clothing and looking frumpy.  I'm marking a milestone year and I want to approach it with an appreciation of my age, my body, and what makes me look and feel comfortable and nice.  I love the look of tailored/conservative dress, which is kinda funny given how liberal/granola I am in terms of outlook and mindset.

That being said, I have to admit that as much as I b*tch about G's sensory issues with socks and apparel, I am not much better (the nut never falls very far from the tree, after all).  As much as I want to look nice and put-together, I cannot tolerate my clothing feeling anything less than extremely comfortable (which is why yoga pants are my current best friends).  The slightest seam that rubs or fabric that scratches a bit is like alarm bells going off in my head, and they won't be silent until the clothing is off.  I don't know if this clothing issue is technically OCD, but since both my mother and son have the same characteristics I can't help but think there is a strong genetic component.  Wearing uncomfortable clothing does to me the same thing that seeing something out of place does.....I obsess until I can fix it in a way that my brain can handle.  I must fix it or the alarm bells will continue to sound.

Adding all these things together classifies me as a "pain in the butt shopper."  My penchant for being cheap ramps up my pain in the buttness even more.

And then there is the general lack of knowledge when it comes to fashion.  Much of the time I cannot figure out how clothing goes together.  The whole "layering" thing confounds me.  Ask me to discuss the themes in a novel, and I can do it without a minutes' hesitation.  Ask me to select the size that fits my body properly and coordinate an outfit, and I turn into a sniffling and bumbling idiot.

I am the Mr. Bean of fashion.  

1 comment:

Bethany Haid said...

You should try lands end starfish line- sensory issues taken care of bc so soft, and not teenager at all, and also good sales. Returns to sears. Somewhat tailored and conservative. Mostly comfort!