A family tradition

When I was a kid, my family would take walks together through the neighborhood.  My mom would always throw up her hand to wave as a neighbor drove by.  When my dad developed ulcerative colitis and wasn't able to make it far without a toilet nearby and my brother was working, my mom and I would take walks together, talking, debating.  Sometimes we would get pretty worked up, and we always said they neighbors could hear us going at each other, two hens pecking at each other.  

I have fond, fond memories of family walks.

Now, it is one of our family traditions.  I love our family walks.  It is funny how my kids throw their hands up as cars pass by, after seeing me do it so many times.  It gives me and D a chance to talk since N and G run ahead, chasing each other.  It gives us a chance to spend time together outside.  

I hope my children have fond memories of this time when they become adults too.  

The floor BEFORE

We are having the carpet and linoleum pulled up in our dining room, kitchen and family room and hardwood put down (which matches the hardwood that was already in our foyer).

When we first bought our house almost 9 years ago, the choppiness of the flooring--wood butting up to carpet, butting up to linoleum, butting back up to carpet--didn't bother me.  But now, perhaps because our space seems so much smaller due to all the toys and baby whatmenots, I need the rooms to flow, feel seamless, feel larger.

Mostly, I need to not have to clean up cat vomit, marker, juice, cheesy poof residue out of cream (or what used to be cream in a former child-free life) carpet.

And the linoleum?  Well all it takes is 1 dropped fork to put a puncture in it.

So here is how it looked prior to the demolition.

The dining room

The kitchen eating nook

The kitchen proper

The family room

Those bad fat people

All they do is eat.

And eat.

And eat.

They just lay around, never exercising.  

They are fat all over.

Good thing they won't be denied health care for it.

(Note:  I firmly believe in personal responsibility---eating well-balanced meals, getting exercise, seeing doctors for well visits, being pro-active for your health.  But I also know that insurance companies do some highly unethical things that have nothing whatsoever to do with how well people take care of themselves).

Love to witness learning

I have to say I am so enjoying seeing N learn how to read and write.  I know I am a total nerd, but it is so fun and cool and downright thrilling to have her read to me at bedtime.  And I adore the sentences she comes up with.

Here are the ones she wrote this week:

1. Soon the evening wil be here.
2. They were runing wene they wernt sapost too.
3. Wene they were cralling under the phenc they trept.

My conscience and plain ole crazy talk

D and I have, so far, made a good life for ourselves.  We both came from stable families.  We both have master's degrees.  Neither of us got messed up on drugs or alcohol.  When I'm feeling smug, I like to pat myself on the back because I have made good choices.  But then I have to be really honest and note that I did do some pretty stupid things in my earlier years, and I was just really lucky.

I am one generation removed from poverty.  Had my parents been raised in 2010 instead of the 1940s they would be like so many students I taught in the inner city:
* they had parents who would be considered unskilled or marginally skilled laborers (and therefore not well paid).
* they would qualify for free/reduced lunch (or as some people like to call it...a handout).
* they were witnesses to, if not victims of, domestic violence.
* they were raised by a single parent for all or much of the time.
* they were not well supervised because their parents were working, giving them opportunity to get into trouble (had trouble come knocking, which, in their case, it didn't).

Perhaps it is this history that makes me like the phrase, "There but for the grace of god go I."  In my parents' case, they rose above their childhood circumstances.  But many people do not, and I certainly don't believe it is because they are all a giant sack of lazy.  It takes great perseverance, support and sheer luck to break free of poverty, abuse, addiction and/or ignorance.

For all of my misanthropy and curmudgeonly charm, I believe most people are good.  Most people want to do better for themselves, and many simply don't know how because all they have seen their lives are series upon series of bad choices.

My conscience simply won't allow me (for very long) to set myself up on a porcelain pedestal as better than others.

In those moments, though, when I am on my pedestal, I do have some crazy thoughts.  Some really nasty, wouldn't say-it-publicly thoughts.  But I will say it here as a reminder of just how shitty I can be sometimes.

Like those times when I read about people abusing their children and wish that those parents had opted for abortion instead.
Like those times when I read about young girls getting pregnant and think it should be a law that anyone under 21 who becomes pregnant must give their baby up for adoption.
Like those times I think people who have multiple children by multiple partners should be forcibly sterilized.
Like those times when I hear politicians yell out inappropriate things and think they should be strung up by their johnsons in a public square.
Like those times when I read about children being killed by handguns, and I think said guns should be permanently lodged in whomever purchased said gun's asshole.
Like those times I hear people remark that they are good Christians and then proceed to denigrate blacks and Muslims, and I want to smack their holier than thou faces.

Usually at this point, I have lost my balance and come tumbling off the pedestal, back to earth, back to knowing that I operate better when I try to be honest and kind and non-judgmental.  And letting other people do the crazy talk.

WWJD?

So the health care bill passed, and everyone's panties are in a twist.  I need a brain dump of all my thoughts, stupid and otherwise, regarding people's comments on the legislation.  While cooking dinner tonight my brain was churning so furiously I had to jot thoughts down in my day planner just so I could get about the business of preparing food.

I have no idea how to organize these thoughts, and I'm too tired to try, so I'm just gonna throw 'em out there because I'd like to be able to sleep without all these ideas running around my head.

1. Many people are concerned about the costs of this legislation, but according to the Congressional Budget Office, it will eventually lead to $138 billion deficit in ten years.  Of course, that's over a long period of time and things could change.  I guess what burns my ass is why weren't these same folks as concerned when the tax cuts for the wealthy were passed or when we invaded Iraq?  A conservative estimate is that the Iraq War will cost $3 TRILLION.  

2. People who are currently on Medicare should have no horse in this race.  When you are the recipient of a government-sponsored health plan and you bitch that you don't want government-run health care for others, you are being a complete idiot.  It's fine for YOU to have it, but not anyone else.  Please just shut-up.

3. Yes, people will have to purchase health insurance, just like they have to purchase homeowners' insurance and car insurance.  If you want to say they are being forced to buy it, ok.  Use that terminology.  But note that there are lots of things we are forced to do for the safety, health and benefit of all people.  Stopping at stop signs comes to mind.  I might want to go through the intersection because I'm late for work, but I am forced to stop.  That infringes on my freedom to drive however I want.  Here are some other things we do or don't do because it is for the good of society:
* No smoking allowed in public places (infringes on the right to smoke)
* Drunk driving is not allowed (infringes on the right to drink as much as I want and drive my ass home)
* Yelling fire in a movie theater (infringes on my right to have a good hee-haw laugh)

Ok, now here are just some extraneous things that got stuck in the mind sludge:

*Regarding complaints about the inefficiency of government---
I have heard people mention the USPO, how it is in the red, inefficient, and do we really want our health care to be like that?  My question is if the USPO is so darn inefficient, why do all these folks who use this as their argument not send their mail, all of it, via UPS or Fedex?  Because they don't want to shell out the money.  They are perfectly content with only paying 42 cents to mail a note to Aunt Mildred.

*Regarding government having too much control over the people---
I think it is interesting that often the same people who complain that the government is too big, is too much "up in our business" are the same people who want the government to put restrictions on abortion---a woman must have an ultrasound, get counseling 24 hours in advance.  They don't want the government in their grill, but they totally want the government as big brother over every uterus.

And I can't help thinking, when I read people's comments in the paper or on FB, what would Jesus do?  Historical Jesus was a rebel, as I understand him.  Thumbing his nose at Jewish authority.  So maybe he wouldn't want the government messing around with health care.  But Jesus was also all about the poor, the downtrodden, the underserved, the have-nots in his society.  And so I can't help but think Jesus would want to help people.

And that's what I keep coming back to.  The need, the dire need, to help people.  There is always a cost to do this, and Americans don't like to sacrifice.

Signs of a good marriage

Sign 1:
Yesterday D bought a new lawnmower.  As with any purchase over $2.50, he researched it extensively.  He then went to Home Depot and brought home the wrong one.  I was outside cutting back the ornamental grasses with N and M (while G napped inside) and got to see the look of disgust on D's face when he realized the mower wasn't the one he wanted.  He boxed it all back up, and then asked me, "Why am I such an idiot?"

To which I responded:  "You are only an idiot when it comes to tools and anything involving outdoor equipment.  In most other ways, you are extremely intelligent."

Back to Home Depot he went to exchange it for the correct mower.  And now he is stoked to try it out once the grass is high enough.

Lesson:  It is a good marriage when the husband can ask a loaded question and the wife can be honest.  And nobody starts fighting.

Sign 2:
This morning we went for breakfast at Mamaw's house.  Since M is going to bed between 6:00 and 6:30 in the evening, we have decided to share a morning meal once a week with my MIL.  Mamaw is a good cook---much better than I am.  She said something about her eggs being overcooked.  Knowing how much D prefers his mom's eggs to mine, I said, "They are still better than mine, right D?"

To which he replied:  "Overcooked is better than burnt" (or something along those lines).

And he and I happily ate the good eggs, biscuits and gravy.

Lesson:  It is a good marriage when the wife knows her MIL is a better cook and doesn't get bent out of shape because her hubby prefers his mom's eggs.

Class dismissed.