It is fucking off-season, and I should not be dealing with sports shit

I learned a long time ago, both through teaching and being a mom, that I do not like lots of rules. And this isn't because I don't like rules. 

Rules are sometimes necessary. 

People don't always act in their own best interests, nor in the best interests of the society. 

I simply learned that the more rules you have, the more rules you have to police. 

For me, it made more sense to pick the 3 major things I would not tolerate and let that other shit go. 

Kids knew I wasn't going to nit-pick them to death; they also knew the hill on which I was willing to fight and die, and as a general rule, they didn't climb that hill with any regularity.

My kids have learned the same. 

So when I think back to the 2019 dress code kerfluffle, it may have seemed like I was anti-rule.

While I thought the dress code rules were too strict and did penalize girls and non-cis-gender students, what raised my hackles the most was the utter lack of consistency of the rules. The rule-enforcers were not consistent which was maddening for both students and parents who may have legitimately tried to follow the dress code but then said "fuck it" when the rules weren't actually enforced.

This week, I had to dig into the state high school athletics bylaws to see what the rules are about what coaches can do to and for players during off-season. 

Language was used by a certain person who was acting as a mouthpiece for the coach about these off-season activities being "mandatory." This person was more or less telling student athletes to change their winter work schedules in order to have team-building Zoom activities.

And I was pretty certain that if it is off-season, no one can tell any player what to do with his/her time. Not the coach; not the mouthpiece for the coach; not a principal; not a parent. 

It occurred to me to ask myself: "Am I playing both sides regarding rules?"

Do I use the rules when they help me/my kid and do I fight against them when they potentially harm me/my kid?

My first answer is yes.

And while that bothers me a little, I have never claimed to be anything other than acutely human.

But I needed to think more about it. 

Why would I seek to enforce a rule in one respect and fight against a rule in another respect?

Both involve parents and their children. 

Both involve something that can be a hassle to parents and their children. 

One rule was inconsistently enforced; the other rule was seemingly not being followed. 

I don't believe that life is fair--it is completely unfair that my life has been as privileged as it has been while other people's lives have not been. I don't expect fairness and honestly deserve a lot more unfairness in my life than I actually get. 

So I wonder if it was an equity thing regarding who may be penalized? 

The dress code rules penalized females and non cis-gender students. It penalized poorer students. It penalized students whose parents couldn't bring them clothes because they can't leave their jobs. 

The off-season thing would penalize kids who have made other plans in the off-season, like church or jobs or simply just enjoying a break. 

While this exercise in reflection was somewhat enjoyable for me because I like a good stew, it also peeved me to no end that I'm having to check the rules and have phone conversations to say things like, "That is against the rules." 

And about fucking sports, of all things.