A delight (#6)

No one loves the pandemic. In most ways it has been gradients of awful. 

It has threatened people's physical and mental heath and livelihoods. 

But it has led to a pocket of delight for me that is, in truth, not always delightful; but overall, in its most fundamental way, it has been a delight because it was unexpected and something I would not have asked for but appreciate in a deep way. 

N will soon turn 17 and is a little over a year away from high school graduation. To have as much of her presence these past 10+ months has been a rarefied gift. 

The same is true with the boys.

That hasn't meant that it has been fun or easy.

There have been crying fits and complaints and angry voices. 

But there is delight in sustained togetherness at a time when, under normal circumstances, we would not be together. 

Under normal circumstances, we would all be, more or less, in our own busy directions. 

I don't cling tightly to phases in most cases. After three children, I have been downright happy to be done with much of raising them---the early mornings, the potty-training, the constant neediness of children. 

I was happy to rediscover myself, my talents and my interests. 

It is a reward to see my children become independent and not need me as much.

But I have found that the pandemic and its enforced togetherness, even when it is annoying or cumbersome, has in its own way been a delight.