Monday, January 2, 2017

How to make a recipe the Carrie way

Tonight I am making this recipe.

I am not a very exciting cook and generally avoid making recipes that involve more than 5 ingredients.  I'm ok with soups because they are one-pot operations.

If a meal involves cooking many things separately with the goal of any of them to be done at or near the same time, I can assure you it will not happen if I'm in charge.

My MIL says I'm a better cook than what I give myself credit for.  My husband usually says things I cook are "pretty good," which seems complimentary but may also be a kind way to say it "mostly sucked."

It doesn't matter to me because I do not like to cook and figure it's got a good side effect of not making us overly heavy.  I don't cook rich meals or use heavy cream or loads of butter or any of those other things that usually result in delicious meals.  (I'm also far too frugal to agree to eating out more than once a week.)

Nobody in this house has starved..... yet.

Whenever someone complains of being hungry, I usually yell, "Grab a cheese stick!" or "Grab a handful of nuts!"

Anyway, the above recipe is now baking in my oven, but I realized that if I were going to write down the steps of how to make any recipe the way I do it, I'd have to add some steps.

Like this:

Step 1:   Chop the onions and put them in the pan with olive oil.  Saute until translucent.
Step 2:   Become distracted by something you're reading.  Forget the onions and then rush over and stir them just in the knick of time before all of them burn.  Charred marks add a little texture.
Step 3:  Only actually use 3 cloves of garlic instead of the recommended 6 because the grocery has been out of garlic for 2 weeks and you don't want to use all the garlic you have.  And also, it is a pain to get the garlic peel off.  

More steps....

Follow other steps somewhat accordingly, but only add 4 eggs because you didn't use 2 lbs of spinach, and don't bother whisking them in a separate bowl because it is all just going to go together anyway, so just throw the eggs in with the spinach mixture.  

More steps...

Use some dried marjoram and thyme because you didn't want to buy fresh, so add a teaspoon of those because aren't dried herbs supposed to be more potent?  How old are these dried herbs, anyway?  Maybe they are less potent the older they are?  

Step 43:  Layer the filo dough in any old random way and then smush the filling onto it.  Layer more filo dough randomly on top and kinda tuck the sides in. 

Step 44: Put in oven at 375 for 35-40 minutes.  

Step 45:  Keep checking the oven because you didn't set the timer for 40 minutes and worry a little that the top of the spanakopita looks a little too brown, but let it go because you don't want food poisoning from undercooked eggs.  

This, in a nutshell, is why I never, ever invite people over for home-cooked meals.  

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