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Thursday, August 4, 2016

The end of summer.......

I am not dying for school to begin.

I'm ready, but I'm not desperate (although we still have 5 days, so there is still time.)  I have noticed a slight uptick in my beer drinking and cussing.

I have also noticed that every August I have to have a cavity filled, which simply HAS to be correlated with teeth-clenching during the summer months.

I'm ready to have a routine back in the place.  I'm ready for my sons to be able to speak regularly to other little boys who like to talk about penises, butts and video games so that I do not have to listen to talk about penises, butts and video games.  I'm ready for snack time to not be an all-day event.  

But I am not ready for the busyness, the homework, the waiting on the bus, the driving to and from middle school, the projects.

I am not ready to step back on the hamster-wheel of exhaustion.

The summer was surprisingly pleasant.  

My intention to not culture my children this summer worked splendidly.   

We did a week of Girl Scout camp, 2 weeks in Michigan, 3 weeks of nonstop television and video games due to illness and ear infections.  The other weeks were playdates and swimming and other things I don't remember.  My kids spent many, many days in their pajamas all.day.long.  

The boys each read 19 books, and N will have read 3 books over the summer (which isn't great, but she read so I won't complain).  G worked a little bit on his cursive.  

I have been doing some AP test-prep with him, as well.

(I stewed a tiny little bit over whether to do this and decided that since N's teacher had prepped her class, and I don't know what G's teacher will do, and G being G might need a little anxiety-reduction, I would buy a book and let him have a go.  Whether this has any impact at all on his score.....I've no clue, but if it means he will be more relaxed because he knows what to expect....that is good.)

My readiness for school that is not also tinged with wild desperation is strange.

This evening, going up for teacher meet-and-greet, I felt oddly unenthusiastic.  I didn't have my usual jaunty step into school to meet teachers.  Instead, it felt like I was stepping onto the gauntlet.

It has left me all befuddled.  

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