Wednesday, April 27, 2016

I'm looking forward to summer break (but reserve the right to change my mind 2 days into summer break)

Anyone who has known me for 5+ years would think that, perhaps, an X-File type incident had happened to me.  Maybe in a cornfield, with a glowing disc hovering over my head, and tiny green men prodding me with scientific instruments?

How in the world is Carrie even suggesting that she is looking forward to summer break?  With her three children?

It defies reality.

And yet, that is how I feel.

I am tired of waking at 6 am every day for the middle school routine, and I am especially tired of driving N to school every other week.  I am tired of afternoon pick-up.

I am tired of homework for both boys.

I am tired of projects and costumes.  G had to make a small float for a horse race parade, and when I saw the info sheet on it, I handed it to D immediately.  "Here, you're doing this," I said.  No questions, no complaints.  I'm queen of costumes; he can be in charge of engineering.

I am tired of trying to figure out G's OT schedule and how I'm going to get the boys to the clinic for allergy shots in the midst of their school schedules.

And we're not even a busy family with loads of activities.  N had two weeks in a row of orchestra concerts that exhausted me.  I can't imagine our lives when all three kids will have stuff going on.  I don't especially want to imagine it.

It feels like my life became infinitely more complicated when M began kindergarten this year, but I think this is more to do with N being on the middle/high schedule and G/M being on the elementary schedule.  Plus, we had the bus situation mid-year that complicated things.  And me starting to sub has meant changes, too.

In the midst of all this, I think I finally, FINALLY got to the point where I'm just not worried about every second of my children's existence being educational or worthwhile or productive or whatever.  I think the busyness of their days at school has made me appreciate that they just sorta need down time to play games or vegetate or do what they want without me feeling guilty for not molding their brains into whatever perfect things I thought their brains should be.

Our summer will end up being busier than I expect.  The four of us will all be at Girl Scout camp in June for a week.  And I'm co-leading vacation bible school at the church for five nights.  And I'm going to do some grant-writing for a local museum.

But, we're also going to do a lot of nothing, and I think I'm glad of that.

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