Wednesday, April 1, 2015

How we do the "birds and the bees"

I have always tried to talk openly with my children about...well, everything really, but especially the facts of life and sexuality.  To be honest, we've been talking about it since I was pregnant with G, when I had to explain to N how the baby got in there to begin with and why my abdomen hurt after he was born.

My kids have always known that breasts are for nursing babies.  By the time N was 9, she'd been watching me nurse somebody in the house for half her life.

It isn't a constant conversation, but it ebbs and flows, depending on whatever questions pop into their heads.

Awhile back I did find this book at a used book sale and bought it for N.  We read it together, and I left it on her bookshelf so that she can access it whenever she so chooses.

The other day, for whatever reason, G asked me about how babies are created so I found an online video for him and M to watch.  I sat with them and tried to explain anything I thought they might find confusing.  I explained how some of the sperm get "lost" on the way to finding the egg.  As the "winner" neared his destination, I explained how once he was inside, the egg would close off to all the other sperm.

M screeched, "He WON!  He WON!  OMG!  G, he's trapped in there!"

G asked, "What happens to all the other sperm?"  to which I replied, "They die."

The very next morning, at approximately 6:30 am, G asked me, "So how did you and Daddy get the 3 of us if all the other sperm died?"

I put him off for a couple hours because I hadn't yet had my coffee.  Who can discuss these things at 6:30 am without coffee?

D sat in the recliner cracking up at the prospect of how I'd handle this delicate conversation.

I explained it in the most basic, clinical terms I could.  G responded with, "Ewwwww, that's gross."

After a moment's pause, he said, "So you and Daddy did that 3 times?"

I replied, "Well, a sperm doesn't always hit an egg, so sometimes, as in your case, Mommy and Daddy had to do that a lot to get you."

(A challenging child from the get-go.  I should have known......)

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