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Saturday, February 14, 2015

The mothering stage I'm in

M and I take a music class every Wednesday.  This past week during a moment of transition the conversation amongst the moms turned to the the things I've got on my plate right now--the cottage school teaching, the magazine freelancing, and the graduate school.  One of them said, "Oh my gosh, you're so busy."

It's funny, but there are moments when I don't feel particularly busy.  Right now, I don't have an article I'm working on, and I've planned all my lessons for the rest of the year, so if I have already completed my class work then I'm just sorta sitting around.

Sure, I could clean, but I don't believe in cleaning stuff that isn't downright filthy.

And I have a difficult time reading when the kids are around because I need quiet to concentrate on what I'm reading.  The last thing I experience in this house with the boys is quiet.

I'm waiting on D to redo the speaker wiring in the basement, so I'm unable to hang up any of my wall decor since we painted and had the new flooring installed.

I guess I could bake or cook, but I don't enjoy doing those things.  Those are chores more boring than cleaning the toilets.

In terms of the kids, we are at that stage where I have to be here, in the house, available when and if they need me, but they generally don't need me much.  That is why I am pretty ok with having the teaching job and the freelancing stuff and the graduate class.....it gives me something purposeful and interesting to do in the lags, which are frequent.

It is a weird place to be, a limbo of sorts, and though I am glad to be out of the decade of "mothering itty bitty kids stage" where I have to watch their every move, I am trying to wrap my head around my entry into this new stage of "available as needed," which will last another decade.

Well, really I guess this stage lasts the rest of my life.  To this day, my mom and dad are "available as needed" when I have a question or need them to watch the grandkids or listen to me vent.

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