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Thursday, September 25, 2014

Life as a SAHM--then and now

Way back in the day, I thought life as a SAHM was hard if N didn't take a 2-hour nap on a given day.  I was all disgruntled if I didn't get plenty of time to scrapbook.  Her scrapbook and baby book were up to the minute.

Time passed.

Then I thought life as a SAHM was hard when M was an infant, G was 2, and N was in kindergarten because the boys were so on me all the time, either nursing or sitting on my "wap."  Life was also hard because I was always in.my.house.  With naps on-and-off during the day and the boys being pretty content to be home much of the time and watch Sesame Street, I yearned to be out doing stuff.

Time passed.

Now I think life as a SAHM is hard because I am never at home.  I couldn't have a full-time job because I am up--to-the-gills busy with my non-job of keeping up with my house and laundry and homework and volunteering at school and trying to get to the grocery and piano lessons.  Oh, and the part-time teaching and freelance writing.  I long for days when I don't have to do anything or go anywhere or check anything off.my.list.

When I can clean my bathroom and just look at it being all clean for 10 minutes.
When I can sew Girl Scout patches on N's vest or iron D's shirts or play a game of chase with M.

Today I put pictures of M's 4th birthday in his baby book;  he turns 5 in a little under 2 weeks.  I haven't yet written anything on his "My First Day of School" page, which was also last year.

It is finally starting to click that this SAHM thing is always going to be hard in one way or another.  While I don't know what I will think is hard in the coming stages and phases, I feel pretty certain that I will look back longingly on whatever I just left and realize how much I miss it.

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