Does a vasectomy equal surgery?

N is nervous about having her tonsils removed, which I understand.  Surgery is scary in general, and especially when you're a kid.  I told her that right now she is odd man out in the family since everyone else has had surgery.  She asked how many surgeries everyone has had.

I told her that M has had one (ear tubes).

G has had two.  (Ear tubes placed and ear tubes removed).

D told her he has had 2 surgeries.  I knew the gallbladder removal was one, and I thought the other might be something from his childhood that I forgot about.  When I asked, "What is the 2nd one?," he motioned towards his "boys."  

I asked if that counted as surgery since he wasn't out completely; it was only local anesthesia.  He then said if that was the case then my c-sections didn't count as surgery since I wasn't out completely under general anesthesia.  

If his vasectomy counts as surgery, then so does having two of my moles removed since I had local anesthesia and stitches.  And so does having my c-section incision sliced open when it was infected because they used local anesthesia for that and a lancet.   

As far as I'm concerned a vasectomy and mole removal and wisdom teeth removal are "procedures," not surgery.  Anything that involves an actual anesthesiologist is surgery. 

Who's with me?

The boys' visit to the ENT

I really missed Dr. B in the week since I last saw him when I set up N's tonsillectomy last Monday. Today was the boys' 6-month ear-tube/ear-hole check.

I went in fully expecting Dr. B to say he wanted to fix G's eardrums, but fortunately the left one was completely healed up.  The right one still has some kind of weird wax or something blocking the tiny little hole, but Dr. B said he is completely fine with just watchful waiting.  Which is great because I really don't want to pay for 2 surgeries this year if I don't absolutely have to.

M's ears look perfect; tubes still in place.

The issue of sleep apnea was discussed.  At a previous visit I had asked Dr. B if he would remove G's adenoids if/when his eardrums were repaired, and Dr. B said yes.  So given N's situation with her tonsils, I asked Dr. B if he would also remove G's tonsils when/if the eardrums were repaired and adenoids removed.  I want to avoid more surgeries for G down the line so if he has to have a surgery to repair his eardrum, I'd just prefer they take out the adenoids/tonsils, which have caused me and the first 2 of my offspring a load of trouble.

During our discussion, Dr. B said something about strep or apnea, and so I told him that D thinks G has apnea.

Whenever G has slept in our bed, he does snore loudly and makes gasping-type noises.  But he was sleeping on our pillows, which are hard and tall (Tempur-pedic).  The last time G slept with me when D slept downstairs for a code move, I put G on his own pillow to sleep, and he didn't honk and snort at all. G is a mouth-breather and his tonsils are large; Dr. B said they take up 50-75% of his throat.  So he might very well have sleep issues, but we're gonna start by giving him an antihistamine and Singulair every day to see if those help.  Lord knows he has allergies....just never tested.

We briefly discussed a sleeps study to definitely rule in or out sleep apnea, but I'm not sure I want to deal with all this.  Especially if he only has a mild case, in which we would have gone through a lot of rigamarole for nothing.....or for them to say, "Take Singulair and an antihistamine."

My plate is so stinking full right now with my high school reunion a little over 3 weeks away, our Florida trip after that, and N's tonsillectomy shortly after that.  The idea of taking on one.more.thing to put on my mind's "to do list" or even "back burner list" could possibly do me in.  

Reasons why being organized and on-top-of-things is a big pain in the arse

No one likes an organized person (especially when that person also has OCD and will continue bugging people via Facebook email about RSVPing to a 20-year high school reunion that is 3 weeks away).  One has reached critical-mass annoyingness when one has OCD, is organized and, on top of it all, does not engage in procrastination.

I am a naturally organized person and always have been.  Even as a child, I kept my room neat and everything had its place.  Some people are born that way and some people aren't.  There are many times I wish I could be a more go-with-the-flow type of person.  (My meds have certainly mellowed me out in the last 7 years, but the fundamentals of my personality are still there.)

Being organized brings me a sense of calm and creates the illusion that I have control over my life.

In college I found that the more classes I took, the more organized, efficient and successful I was.  My best semesters were those in which I took 6 classes and worked part-time.  I didn't have time to waste so I didn't waste any.

Once I became a mom, I also realized that when I put things off, inevitably something came up at the last minute (usually a sick child or a horrible night of sleep), and I was left scrambling to get something accomplished.  So I just do things well in advance.  To maintain that semblance of control.

I often get the comment, "Oh, but you're so organized," and I'm not sure how to respond to this.  I feel sorta compelled to apologize or downplay my organizing.  And while it is very true that I can juggle planning a reunion, writing for a local magazine, being president of a moms group, and being on the HOA board, I also don't take a shower every single day and many times forget to brush my teeth or put on deodorant or both.   I wear the same clothes over and over without any idea of how many days they have been on my person.

I have my watch set to beep during the week when I am supposed to pick N up from school....because I would forget.  I actually need it to have a "snooze" function so that it could remind me repeatedly until I am actually in carpool line.  (For the past 6 weeks, she has taken a gymnastics club on Tuesday afternoons, and every week I was driving like a bat out of hell because I forgot about picking her up since my watch alarm didn't sound beforehand.)

So being organized and involved and on-top-of-things does have its downsides, namely in terms of hygiene in my case.  And in my ability to drive other people bat-shit nuts with all of my organizing.  

When he's cute, he's really very cute

G woke up in a good mood today and has been pretty delightful, which must be the gods' way of helping me cope with the fact that 87% of the time he would not be described as delightful.

He was pestering his sister this morning, poking his pointer fingers into her rear-end and saying, "I danged her in the butt."  (Butt in his lingo is a 2-syllable word.)

At M's playgroup he did not harass any of the younger kids.  At Target, he did not throw a tantrum.  At the pet store he noted that all the parakeets in their glass bin were having playgroup.  And he giggled for a solid 5 minutes when he saw a bubble-eye goldfish.

Of course, he is refusing to take a nap which means tomorrow morning he will be back to turd-like behavior and driving me ever closer to Insanity.

But for now, I will relish this morning's cuteness.  

Surgery #1 scheduled

Yesterday I took N to our ENT with my list of all her strep throat episodes from March 2010 to the present.  I anticipated him wanting to hold off, but he read my information, counted them up, and said, "Yep, she meets the criteria."

And so at the end of June, following our Disney trip, my girl will be the last of my three children to experience a surgical procedure under the care of our beloved Dr. B.

Next Monday, I take both the boys for their ENT check-ups, and I am fully expecting Dr. B to recommend that G have the holes patched in his eardrums and his adenoids removed.  G hasn't had ear drainage from an infection since the fall, which is great, but it also means Dr. B might think G would do well to patch the holes and not require further tubes.

My hope is that Dr. B is willing to continue this watchful waiting because I really don't want to have G have eardrums patched/adenoids removed and then when he's 6 or 7 have to have tonsils removed like N.

I would love, love, love to go one year without someone in my house having surgery.  For many reasons.  The worry.  The cost.  The recovery (which for tubes is nonexistent for but all of the other surgeries we've had or will have is pretty rough).  Did I mention the cost?  And the worry??

(It is all I can do to think through how I am going to manage the boys while N is on the sick-bed for a good 10-days to two weeks, drinking slushies and feeling pretty darn miserable.  I have already begged my mom to come over every day for about the first four days post-op to help me manage.)

The last time someone DIDN'T have a surgery in my household was 2005.

Really, a little surgery reprieve would be most welcome.

The throttling 3's

This post could also be called, "Turning the Bedroom Door Lock to the Outside Ensures that One's 3-year-old Doesn't Die By His Mother's Hands."

Here is the stage we are in:  G is 3 and 7/12 years old; he's a boy (so developmentally delayed by at least 6 months compared to what a female child would be like at this same age); and he's stuck in the middle, sandwiched like a sardine between N and M.  He has also apparently inherited every pesky personality trait from both sides of the family.  Finally, he is at that horrible point where he still needs a nap every day, but he often doesn't want to take one until about 2:45, which is much too late.  And if he doesn't take a nap, he is even more of a turd than he normally is when well-rested and in a good mood.

N was difficult at 3, but I don't recall having it out with her, watching her flail and cry and scream, at least two times a day every.single.solitary.day.  Sure, she would have some tantrums every week, but not morning, noon and night.  If G would sleep all the way through the night without waking me up at least once, I might have a better tolerance for his daytime behavior.  If G didn't have a little brother who also wakes up during the night, mommy might be considerably more willing to let certain behaviors slide.

When I think about him starting preschool this fall, I feel concern....mostly for his teachers and their mental health.  It is all I can do to tolerate him, and I have overwhelming momma-bear love for him.  I cannot imagine how quickly I would jack him up if I wasn't his mother.  It is fortunate that he has a terribly cute grin and mischievous eyes; I fear he will be the "bad boy" for whom all the girls go nuts.

G is persistent, a trait that is good for many things in life.  But he uses his persistence to persistently aggravate others.  I really wonder how things will go in preschool when he plays with other kids his age, how long before another kid cracks him in a the lip.

Of course, I worried a bit about how G would do in speech class, and he does really well.  He sits and participates and doesn't appear to annoy his classmates and teacher.  He is actually a pretty good kid in speech therapy, I think.  Perhaps he just shows his ass to the ones he knows love him enough to not beat his brains out....although we are sorely tempted.

Honestly, most of the time I cannot stand G, and I truly hate that.  I stay home because I want to enjoy my children and their early childhoods.  I want to be with them.  But G makes that tremendously hard a lot of the time.

When N was little and even when I had N and G, I never, ever thought about going back to work.  I  think about it nearly everyday now even though I know that I don't really want to go back to work because I would be dealing with surly middle schoolers.  And as far as I'm concerned the insanity that is a 7th grader is just like a 3-year-old, except taller and with a snottier attitude.

What I want is for G to move a little more quickly through this stage that seems like it has been going on for fucking eva.  Because there is much in G to love and to enjoy.

The funny things about nursing a toddler

M is almost 19 months old and still nursing.  It is funny that I wanted to nurse my first baby until she was 2 years old, but it took me until my third child to find a willing accomplice.

As in all aspects of parenting, nursing has its phases.  At first it takes foreva for a baby to get through a nursing session.  As soon as they detach, burp and sleep for 15 minutes, they are ready to go again.

Within a couple months they get faster at nursing, but they are still very boob-centric.  Nursing becomes more of a wrestling match once they start to notice that there is a little more to life than nipples and mommy milk.  Even if they are not mobile, their little heads are on a swivel.

Once they become mobile, nursing often requires a darkened, quiet room with no distraction so that they can focus on the matter at hand and not jump off momma's lap to crawl or run around.

N weaned at 12 months and G at 14 months, so even though I think I am a fairly seasoned parent, all of this toddler nursing is a new thing for me.  Nursing is often about comforting M whenever his big brother steals a toy from him....which means I suckle for comfort ALOT.  And that gets kinda tiring.  I feel like a pacifier with legs.  This is when it feels frustrating.

Despite this, I can't help but get tickled by M's continued nursing as he develops language.  He will be latched on, laying in my arms when he decides to detach and say, "Mooooooo," letting me know he was evidently thinking about cows.  Or he'll detach and growl, which I can only assume means he is thinking about bears.  Sometimes he detaches and just laughs and laughs.

Before bedtime at night, he nurses and does this hip gyrating/pelvic thrust thing while rubbing his crotch through his diaper.  I sorta feel like I should give him some privacy, but he is filling his tummy for the night, and this is for him the be-all/end-all in soothing comfort.

As much as I sometimes think I will be really glad when he decides to wean, I am also so glad to have the wonderful and often weird experience of nursing a toddler.