OMG

Tonight G flipped himself backward while sitting at the dining room table in his booster seat. Afterwards, D told me that is the 2nd time in a week he has heard me say, "Oh my God!" about something G has done (the first was when G fell down all 13 steps last Wednesday).

I reminded D that technically I have said it 3 times in the last week. Last Tuesday, G gave himself a bloody lip by falling on one of his cars on the kitchen floor.

After supper while D was doing dishes, G got the step stool out of the pantry, pushed it over to the refrigerator and started climbing. Together now: OMG!

A few years ago, there was a commercial (I cannot for the life of me remember what was actually being advertised) in which a mom says, as her son is doing dangerous things, "If he lives until he's 5," "If he lives until he's 10" and so on. Eventually the commercial showed the now grown boy saying the same thing about his daughter.

D and I both think about that commercial ALOT these days.

Pics from Christmas

CHRISTMAS EVE AT MAMAW'S HOUSE

N got a Barbie & the Diamond Castle doll. She feels "connected!"
(For those of you who don't know what this means, please watch Barbie & the Diamond Castle DVD 4 TRILLION times.)

G enjoying the wrappings more than the toys.

Mommy rockin' the hell outta Christmas with N's pink guitar!

CHRISTMAS MORNING AT HOME

Luke Duke likes to slide in through the closed door into his coupe.

Big N and Little N in front of the tree.

N got a holiday makeover from Mommy using N's new makeup kit.

CHRISTMAS NIGHT AT NANA & PA'S HOUSE

Starting to look a little draggy....

A little dazed & confused....

A motley crew.

Little Miss Funny Pants

N has been on a roll these past couple days.

Tues, Dec 23rd
I took both kids out for pizza with Nana, Pa, Aunt Norma, Allan, Uncle Ed and Louise. N asked for the Papa John's cheese (and we weren't at Papa John's). I said, "They don't have Papa John's cheese here." She pointed to the parmesan cheese shaker.

Thurs, Dec 25th
On the way to Nana and Pa's to celebrate Christmas, D and I were discussing the possibility of buying a minivan in 2009. But we agreed that neither of us wants to shop with the other for a car. So I suggested that I give D the 1. amount to spend and 2. mileage requirements, and he go do the looking, test-driving, etc, since I don't care about anything else besides #1 and #2. He said, "Would you be ok with that?," and I said, "Absolutely." N piped in with, "Don't say absolutely!" When I asked why not, she said, "Because you don't trust him." God, does she know her parents' relationship or what?

Sat, Dec 27th

• As we were pulling out of our neighborhood on the way to the zoo, she saw a house with a blue tarp on the roof (from wind damage). She said, "Maybe a rocket ship bumped into that house?"

• When we got on the expressway, D ran over the raised lines at the side of the road, which made a farting sound. I said something like, "N, did Daddy toot?," and D said, "Excuse me." A few seconds later N replied, "I don't smell anything yet."

Christmas Minutes

Christmas Eve:

I. G woke up too early--6:47ish a.m.

II. Got pissed at D because he didn't want to get up with G even though I had been up with N like 3 times because of the wind during the night--7:15ism a.m.

III. Probably as a result of my being pissed at D and overall preoccupied with crap I needed to get done, accidentally left the gate open and G fell down all 13 steps--9:20ish a.m.

IV. Called doctor's office and felt sick to my stomach because of leaving gate undone--9:26ish a.m. (G is fine by the way. Not even a bump.)

V. Took N to run errands at Blockbuster, Wal-Mart, library--11:00ish a.m.

VI. Fixed food for Christmas Eve dinner and Christmas Day breakfast--1:30ish p.m.

VII. Went to Mamaw's and had a very enjoyable evening eating and opening gifts--4:00ish p.m.

VIII. Polished off nearly an entire bottle of wine with D and went to bed--9:00ish p.m.

Christmas Day:

I. Kids slept until 8:00ish a.m.

II. Opened gifts and felt heebie-jeebies at all the new clutter filling up my house--9:30ish a.m.

III. Put G down for nap and began the frantic reorganization of the house to help contain the clutter--12:30ish p.m.

IV. Checked on neighbor's cats--3:00ish p.m.

V. Went to Nana and Pa's for more eating, gift opening--5:00ish p.m.

VI. Returned home with all new toys; too tired to begin re-reorganization of house--9:30ish p.m.

Thank god this is over for another year!!

The goods

For some reason, I feel compelled to share what N and G will be getting for Christmas this year from Mommy/Daddy and Santa. While I am excited about what they are getting, I am a little worried that N will be disappointed. But then I think she will be so excited by the whole "idea" of Santa coming and gifts to open, she might forget exactly what she had written on her list.

Plus, I'm curious to know what other parents got their kids and approximately how much was spent. (Yes, I do spend an inordinate amount of time wondering if I'm in the normal range in terms of spending/giving gifts to kids at Christmas. I know I'm not in the normal range mentally, so I'm hoping to be so in some regard). However, I suspect most people feel as comfortable talking about this as they do their sex lives, so I never know how people REALLY live, if ya know what I mean.

Oh, and another reason to post it: So Daddy knows/remembers what the heck we got the kids. I did show him all purchases, but....ya know....he recalls nothing.

So here goes:

N's gifts--
From SANTA (1 big gift, a few stocking stuffers)

• Blonde/blue-eyed My Generation Doll ($32.99) with matching pink dress for N and doll -- made by Nana

• Viewfinder with Barbie & Kung-Fu Panda reels ($13.47)--- stocking stuffer

• Bratz auto toothbrush ($4.94)-- stocking stuffer

• Bratz Baby DVD ($5.48) -- stocking stuffer

From MOM & DAD

• Camera ($19.67)

• Barbie magnetic fashion book ($14.99)

• Big crayon box, window markers & Strawberry Shortcake coloring book ($10.94)

• 5-year-old Christmas ornament ($10.00)

G's gifts---
From SANTA (1 big gift, few stocking stuffers)

• MegaBlocks wagon ($28.19)

• Small ball ($2.06) --stocking stuffer

• Tonka car ($4.04) -- stocking stuffer

• Tonka car ($4.04) --stocking stuffer

From MOM & DAD

• Little Tykes Coupe ($25.00) (got it off craigslist.)

• Bath basketball hoop ($7.99)

• 3 shirts ($14.60) -- this is totally a gift for Mom, since I have to change his drooled on/food slathered shirts at least 2-3 times a day. Means laundry less often.
  

• 2 board books ($6.85)

SHARED GIFTS -- I thought it might be a good idea to get the kids a couple SHARED gifts. While G will be used to having to deal with a sibling, N still sometimes acts like she still rules the roost. Probably won't make a lick of difference.

From SANTA -- A bathblower ($19.99)
From MOM & DAD -- 3 DVDs ($20.07) (bought used from amazon.com) and Trouble ($4.13)

So the grand total comes to $243.53. Technically, I spent $111.57 on N, and $87.77 on G, which made me feel guilty for 2 seconds until I remembered that he doesn't care right now about any of this so why spend a fortune?

Boy, it feels good now that I have let the cat outta the bag. Never felt this good after Catholic confession. Guess I must not have been sinning well enough.

Why I freak out over Christmas break

I wish I could give a definitive answer as to why I freak out over Christmas break. It goes back to when I was a pre-teen, I do know that. I distinctly remember hating Christmas Day, specifically, because I was stuck in the house with my family, unable to go anywhere or do anything or even talk on the phone to friends because they were all with their families. We only had 1 tv, which was always on sports....and I HATE sports. Of all kinds.

Basically, once I got to the stage of childhood when I wasn't getting fun toys, Christmas was just a pain in the rear.

My premise is that my "anxiety" is a big umbrella holding all these little issues I have related to Christmas.

• I do not "relax" well at all, if one considers relaxing laying around watching tv or reading. I can handle these activities for only short periods of time, and I prefer to do my reading in bed at night. So extended periods of time with little to do but watch tv or read just make me edgy. I am not a "hangin out" kinda person.
  

• I get my energy from being out and about, around other people. Being in the house, unable to go anywhere, makes me feel trapped, caged. And this time of year, it is often too cold for even a walk with the kids. So fresh air is hard to come by. All of this makes me anxious.
  

• Christmas break fucks with my routine, and I really, really need a routine. I am not a slave to my routine, but if anybody is gonna screw with it, it's gonna be ME. I get into a rhythm with playdates, N's preschool schedule, and housework/errands, and small breaks like Christmas are short enough to be unable to establish a new routine (like summer break), but long enough to totally throw off one's momentum.

In my senior year of college, I developed neuralgia over the Christmas break from school. The sensation was at the top of my head, and felt like drips and drops of water plopping onto my noggin. It wasn't painful so much as annoying. I had chronic headaches during that time too. And I just felt sad. It was a month of hell.

Once I got back to school in January, I felt fine, so attribute this bout of neuralgia to 1. being out of my routine, 2. hating Christmas in general, and 3. having the time to worry about what the hell I was gonna do with myself in 6 months when I graduated from college. Stress can do all kinds of crazy stuff to someone who unknowingly (at the time) suffered from anxiety.

So my issues with Christmas break go back many, many years.

But as bad as this sounds, I have gotten immensely better since having children. Now I just struggle with the routine part, but I listen to Christmas music, decorate the house with interest and enjoyment and like shopping for my kids. Before my kids, I was an utter Bah Humbug. Hated decorating, hated shopping, didn't own any Christmas music. I was the Christmas Bitch.

D would probably argue that I am still that, at least when he is on vacation, but I think I have improved.

Last minute gift gettting

I had been so strong, so courageous. Weeks ago I finished my Christmas shopping for the kids, and I had held firm. But watching G today look through his books, some of which are barely held together by a shred of binding, I thought I might get him a book or two.

Doing so will not mean purchasing for N, since I already have a book-like gift for N sitting in my closet, which I intended to save for her birthday in February. But yesterday and today she has been playing alot with her Disney Princess dress-up books, and the aforementioned book is a Barbie magnetic storybook.

Hmmm, decisions, decisions.

Getting out by myself today to purchase G a couple books will help minimize my stir-craziness that will begin in earnest tomorrow, when we are inside to avoid the crowds. We will be making a visit to the muffin store, though, to order goodies for Christmas morning breakfast.

Oh, I'm gonna do it. Mental health care of this kind doesn't have to be too expensive.